I know I said I would do a complaint a day and a random thoughts post for the day, but I just had to add this complaint on as well, half way to procrastinate before I spend my Friday afternoon in the library.
I was riding the Gold bus today, on the way to the gym. Yes, I ride the bus to the gym. Do you see the irony? Anyway, so I was sitting in between some kid with his ipod on and then a bunch of guys talking about alcohol. And they reminded me drinking alcohol makes them men. They didn't turn to me and say this, but I could tell by their predictable comments and casuality in their voice when boasting, that they thought they were special and real men.
I am talking about when guys have to recount how much they drank the night before or on some particular incident. Or how alcohol does or doesnt make them be a certain way. Why is it that a guy can tell you the exact amount of beer, jello shots and aristocrat shots he had one night a month ago, but can't remember what you said five minutes ago? Then why when talking with their friends do they have to talk about how much they had?
Why can't the conversation only state, I got really drunk last night and I macked on this sweet bitch. When in reality, you know the guy blacked out, pissed himself and pissed everyone else off, and isnt allowed to return to that house ever again, but thats not important.
I find that girls do it too. "I drank a whole fifth last night!" "I put away an entire case on my own." WOW. That's awesome, did all of your make up smear off too and your hair get really frizzy and you hit on some really ugly kid you wouldnt usually talk to?
Why do people have to comment on how much they drank. Cool, you went out and drank, I'm down with that and I don't care that you got drunk. Thats what drinking is for anyway, isn't it? But why recant how much you drank? When you tell me that you had 13 beers, 5 jello shots, smoked 2 bowls and then finished it off with something out of a random bottle, that doesn't make me think you're the man, it makes me think you're a few weeks away from a beer belly and alcoholism.
So with Friday night only hours away from starting, remember when you're doing keg stands, emptying cans and trying to get laid, that tomorrow I only wanna hear if you got laid by that gross girl with herpes or not, not how much you could put away.
A quote I heard once sums this all up : "Real men (or women) don't count."
Friday, March 31, 2006
I can't hang out later, I have a hair and nail appointment, followed by a tanning session.
When it comes to sexuality, I don't care what you are or who you do. You could enjoy humping dogs and as long as the dog was cool with it, so am I. You could marry a gay, asian porn star and I'd respect it. But when it just comes to guys, there are many things that if they do, I wouldn't consider dating you. And it all stems from being Metrosexual. Now, I like the word sex, and the word sexual and sexuality. I also like most words that are attached to sexuality. I like the metro, I rode it in London and when I go to New York this summer, I plan to ride it there and go to the Metropolitan, but the two words "Metro" and "Sexual" are two that I'll never come to appreciate.
All of the following are traits of metrosexuality and of a boy that I would not date. Just to clarify, since I have come to find out that some people don't know what metrosexuality is, it is when a boy, who is not gay, has many gay tendencies and generally has a stick stuck up there ass and only dates skinny, skanky blondes. (So I guess I wouldnt have a chance with them anyway :) )
One: If you straighten, style, or gel your hair to perfection everyday. I know some boys that spend more time on their hair then I do and what does it look like? Exactly as it would if they just woke up and quickly ran some gel through it. I know some that freak out if you touch their hair. I know some who have highlighted their hair. I rather a boy, not shower and not style his hair over a boy who squeals if you mess up a strand of it.
Two: If you go to a tanning bed. Now pale, pasty boys are not attractive. But boys that have clearly visited the tanning bed=very UNattractive. First off, I have no respect for tanning beds, as I have voiced many times, but I understand if girls go there. If they want to get cancer from a box, thats their prerogative. But a boy who goes to a tanning bed, is too self conscious, making him too full on himself, cancerous and if not full on himself, lacking self-esteem. And we all know how I feel about people who don't have self-esteem. I hate them, only to add to their decreasing self-worth. A boy should get a tan if he went to the beach or if he was doing HOT manual labor outside, not from ultra violet rays in a box.
Three: Wearing tight fitted pants, also a trait of "emo" or attempting to be in a band boys. ( I didn't know the emo look was still in.) I don't need to see your small package bulging from a pair of jeans I should be wearing. No these pants dont make your ass look better, or your legs. It simply makes you look blind.
Four: In addition the tight jeans, they spend entirely too much time getting dressed. There is a difference between dressing well and trying too hard. A boy in a sweater with collars coming out of it or a button up shirt is always sexy, but a boy with all that, with a belt that perfectly matches the striping in the shirt underneath the sweather, that also has its collar popped, along with perfectly shined shoes, well fitted jeans, and sauve hair makes me want to scream: I'm the girl here! Throw on a polo and some jeans, let's go.
In the end, I find these boys to be also lacking in the brains department. When they excel in dressing, tanning care and a mental list of all their fifty hair gels, there just doesnt seem to be a lot of room for smarts. And with their lacking IQ, comes this high level of astuteness. You're so fucking full on yourself and the next hot blond bitch you're going to pick up, that you don't realize you're a flaming asshole.
Metrosexual guys=Ultra lame, Ultra ugly. If you're a gay guy and do this... I have nothing but love for you :). Bring on the guys who just don't care.
All of the following are traits of metrosexuality and of a boy that I would not date. Just to clarify, since I have come to find out that some people don't know what metrosexuality is, it is when a boy, who is not gay, has many gay tendencies and generally has a stick stuck up there ass and only dates skinny, skanky blondes. (So I guess I wouldnt have a chance with them anyway :) )
One: If you straighten, style, or gel your hair to perfection everyday. I know some boys that spend more time on their hair then I do and what does it look like? Exactly as it would if they just woke up and quickly ran some gel through it. I know some that freak out if you touch their hair. I know some who have highlighted their hair. I rather a boy, not shower and not style his hair over a boy who squeals if you mess up a strand of it.
Two: If you go to a tanning bed. Now pale, pasty boys are not attractive. But boys that have clearly visited the tanning bed=very UNattractive. First off, I have no respect for tanning beds, as I have voiced many times, but I understand if girls go there. If they want to get cancer from a box, thats their prerogative. But a boy who goes to a tanning bed, is too self conscious, making him too full on himself, cancerous and if not full on himself, lacking self-esteem. And we all know how I feel about people who don't have self-esteem. I hate them, only to add to their decreasing self-worth. A boy should get a tan if he went to the beach or if he was doing HOT manual labor outside, not from ultra violet rays in a box.
Three: Wearing tight fitted pants, also a trait of "emo" or attempting to be in a band boys. ( I didn't know the emo look was still in.) I don't need to see your small package bulging from a pair of jeans I should be wearing. No these pants dont make your ass look better, or your legs. It simply makes you look blind.
Four: In addition the tight jeans, they spend entirely too much time getting dressed. There is a difference between dressing well and trying too hard. A boy in a sweater with collars coming out of it or a button up shirt is always sexy, but a boy with all that, with a belt that perfectly matches the striping in the shirt underneath the sweather, that also has its collar popped, along with perfectly shined shoes, well fitted jeans, and sauve hair makes me want to scream: I'm the girl here! Throw on a polo and some jeans, let's go.
In the end, I find these boys to be also lacking in the brains department. When they excel in dressing, tanning care and a mental list of all their fifty hair gels, there just doesnt seem to be a lot of room for smarts. And with their lacking IQ, comes this high level of astuteness. You're so fucking full on yourself and the next hot blond bitch you're going to pick up, that you don't realize you're a flaming asshole.
Metrosexual guys=Ultra lame, Ultra ugly. If you're a gay guy and do this... I have nothing but love for you :). Bring on the guys who just don't care.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
"They are dangerous things, those test tube experiments"-Bo Newsome
Musings of this beautiful day:
I was pretty sure that jean shorts, also known as Jorts, had been outlawed, or atleast consciously gone out of style, but I must be mistaken, because I saw a boy walking up the hill sporting a pair of them. Sick.
How did that boy who lives in Aycock purchase that ambulance? Why would you want an ambulance and why would you be allowed to drive one, especially one that says,"Romeo is Bleeding", on the side of it?
Who are these boys that like laying on blankets outside with their girlfriend and more importantly, where do I find them?
I was looking at the nutritional value of the food we eat, its on the dining hall website, and unless you eat uncooked, organic food (which is fine), you're eating about 21 grams of fat, 1500 mg of sodium and 400 calories PER ITEM! I'll stick to my salads.
That is all, thank you for not interrupting.
I was pretty sure that jean shorts, also known as Jorts, had been outlawed, or atleast consciously gone out of style, but I must be mistaken, because I saw a boy walking up the hill sporting a pair of them. Sick.
How did that boy who lives in Aycock purchase that ambulance? Why would you want an ambulance and why would you be allowed to drive one, especially one that says,"Romeo is Bleeding", on the side of it?
Who are these boys that like laying on blankets outside with their girlfriend and more importantly, where do I find them?
I was looking at the nutritional value of the food we eat, its on the dining hall website, and unless you eat uncooked, organic food (which is fine), you're eating about 21 grams of fat, 1500 mg of sodium and 400 calories PER ITEM! I'll stick to my salads.
That is all, thank you for not interrupting.
Girl, Interrupted
Sometimes we have to unfortunately find ourselves having conversations with girls. They're whiny, inept, talk about meaningless things and more often than not interruptive. And I am guilty of all those things, unfortunately even the last one, although not as bad as some.
If you're a guy, you put up with the bullshit all because you have the chance of getting laid, but us girls when listening to our own kind, we have nothing to gain but useless information and striking boredom.
Now naturally, all girls arent this way and I attempt to weed out the annoying ones, dramatic ones, and attention needy ones, which doesnt leave many, but it leaves me with the girls I have for friends now, who are amazing none the less...come on Caitlin Burch, greatest girl alive. However, I still prefer the company of boys over girls. No offense ladies.
It isn't the trite things girls like to talk about that bothers me, most of the time I'll have a lot to contribute in a useless conversation, but it is the inability to wait your turn to speak, that many girls lack.
Scenario: I'll be telling a story of how last weekend I was climbing this mountain, ran into this hot park ranger and we got it done in the bushes, but before I can even get to the part about meeting HottiemcRanger, some other girl has jumped in already saying, "Yea one time I went hiking and I fell down and"...and at this point I have zoned out and stopped listening. If you're unwilling to listen to what I have to say, then I am unwilling to listen to your less important story.
We all went to kindergarden and we all learned how to raise our hand and wait our turn to speak. Now, I'm not asking someone to raise their hand when they want to interject or even question when to say something, I'm just saying, let me get to a good point in my story, where you can ask a question or contribute something knowledgable. Don't jump into my rant, story, whatever, and contribute something about yourself. Because more often than not, their story lasts twice as long as yours, doesn't appeal to you, and by the time they are done, you've forgotten what you were talking about and so has everyone else.
Wait your turn bitches, the story you have to tell about how you burned some of your hair when you were straightening it can certainly wait.
If you're a guy, you put up with the bullshit all because you have the chance of getting laid, but us girls when listening to our own kind, we have nothing to gain but useless information and striking boredom.
Now naturally, all girls arent this way and I attempt to weed out the annoying ones, dramatic ones, and attention needy ones, which doesnt leave many, but it leaves me with the girls I have for friends now, who are amazing none the less...come on Caitlin Burch, greatest girl alive. However, I still prefer the company of boys over girls. No offense ladies.
It isn't the trite things girls like to talk about that bothers me, most of the time I'll have a lot to contribute in a useless conversation, but it is the inability to wait your turn to speak, that many girls lack.
Scenario: I'll be telling a story of how last weekend I was climbing this mountain, ran into this hot park ranger and we got it done in the bushes, but before I can even get to the part about meeting HottiemcRanger, some other girl has jumped in already saying, "Yea one time I went hiking and I fell down and"...and at this point I have zoned out and stopped listening. If you're unwilling to listen to what I have to say, then I am unwilling to listen to your less important story.
We all went to kindergarden and we all learned how to raise our hand and wait our turn to speak. Now, I'm not asking someone to raise their hand when they want to interject or even question when to say something, I'm just saying, let me get to a good point in my story, where you can ask a question or contribute something knowledgable. Don't jump into my rant, story, whatever, and contribute something about yourself. Because more often than not, their story lasts twice as long as yours, doesn't appeal to you, and by the time they are done, you've forgotten what you were talking about and so has everyone else.
Wait your turn bitches, the story you have to tell about how you burned some of your hair when you were straightening it can certainly wait.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
No one likes a ginger kid
And to finish this day off, before my studying and papering commences, some brief musings of my day:
First off-Does anyone else hate Anderson Cooper?
Boys who wear visible wife beaters, no matter how in shape or not, should be shot.
Using your textbook as a weight to work out with turned out to be a good idea.
Someone burned down a dorm room in Clement today. Nuts.
Apparently it is acceptable now to use electric shock therapy on children who misbehave. UH? Good thinking New York.
Journey tickets for the fourth of july walnut creek concert go on sale this week. Uh hell yes.
and finally, for the SGA elections, I didn't vote for the secretary on Ticket #2 because she looked like a dirty skank and no one likes that.
Tomorrows Complaint: Thugged out White guys.
First off-Does anyone else hate Anderson Cooper?
Boys who wear visible wife beaters, no matter how in shape or not, should be shot.
Using your textbook as a weight to work out with turned out to be a good idea.
Someone burned down a dorm room in Clement today. Nuts.
Apparently it is acceptable now to use electric shock therapy on children who misbehave. UH? Good thinking New York.
Journey tickets for the fourth of july walnut creek concert go on sale this week. Uh hell yes.
and finally, for the SGA elections, I didn't vote for the secretary on Ticket #2 because she looked like a dirty skank and no one likes that.
Tomorrows Complaint: Thugged out White guys.
Alpha Sig Trigonometry
There you are, mindlessly walking to class and minding your own business, when you see them, standing there with a pile of little orange paper squares in their hand, attacking anyone and everyone who walks by. Whether you're on the Hill, central campus, at Todd, West end, or anywhere in between, there is someone handing out flyers, that I neither care about or read. Does anyone read them? I quickly grab it away from the person and shove it in my pocket, before I've even noticed what it was about it.
I don't need to know about Tri Sig's upcoming keggar/blood drive that they are throwing to raise money for starving kids in eastern Ethiopia or the free six inch sub I could get from Miami subs if I go there between the hours of 2pm and 5 pm and fill out some silly questionaire, that will "Only take a minute". I don't even like subs all that much.
My real complaint is not that I hate flyers, its the people that hand out their flyers that bother me. There is absolutely no way to get around them, unless you are in a large group of people, where then you can duck behind someones back pack and run past them, but otherwise you're stuck with a waste of paper. And if you make eye contact with the Handee, its all over-you're getting a flyer and there it goes in your pocket to forget about.
But what I hate the most, beyond the flyers and the people that hand them out, is the effects of the flyer. You go to wash your clothes and are carelessly throwing them in washing machine, only worried about how many clothes you can shove in there before they wont really be getting washed anymore. Then when you return, staring you in the face is thousands of little remnants of Tri Sig's invite to their drunken blood drive for Ethiopian kids. Not only did they waste my time, they ruined my clothes.
(I only give props to the man who handed me a wings over greenville flyer. It was outside of Flanagan one day. He handed me a yellow flyer and said, Come to the Student Buddhist Meeting this week. When I opened it, it was a menu for Wings Over Greenville, now I may be the only student of ECU who doesnt like WOG, but I had a lot more respect for it that day. I turned around and laughed with the kid and went to class.)
I don't need to know about Tri Sig's upcoming keggar/blood drive that they are throwing to raise money for starving kids in eastern Ethiopia or the free six inch sub I could get from Miami subs if I go there between the hours of 2pm and 5 pm and fill out some silly questionaire, that will "Only take a minute". I don't even like subs all that much.
My real complaint is not that I hate flyers, its the people that hand out their flyers that bother me. There is absolutely no way to get around them, unless you are in a large group of people, where then you can duck behind someones back pack and run past them, but otherwise you're stuck with a waste of paper. And if you make eye contact with the Handee, its all over-you're getting a flyer and there it goes in your pocket to forget about.
But what I hate the most, beyond the flyers and the people that hand them out, is the effects of the flyer. You go to wash your clothes and are carelessly throwing them in washing machine, only worried about how many clothes you can shove in there before they wont really be getting washed anymore. Then when you return, staring you in the face is thousands of little remnants of Tri Sig's invite to their drunken blood drive for Ethiopian kids. Not only did they waste my time, they ruined my clothes.
(I only give props to the man who handed me a wings over greenville flyer. It was outside of Flanagan one day. He handed me a yellow flyer and said, Come to the Student Buddhist Meeting this week. When I opened it, it was a menu for Wings Over Greenville, now I may be the only student of ECU who doesnt like WOG, but I had a lot more respect for it that day. I turned around and laughed with the kid and went to class.)
Big Bucking Chicken
I decided to start a blog because all of my complaints will not fit comfortably in my profile. The new AOL Triton decided that you should have very little profile space, leaving me with very little complaint space. So I came here, in hopes of writing well scripted, humorous complaints, that will hopefully offend some and make others laugh. Or atleast give you something to do instead of checking everyone's away messages incessantly.
This will not be a blog in which I will write stories of my day like, "Today Steven told me that he liked my shirt. What does this mean? I think Steven likes me, but I'm not sure, he did just knock up Mary. Why is my life so hard? Gah!" It well be left to just complain in and write extremely random thoughts. But with that all said, complaints will soon be posted, but I must get my ass to class.
This will not be a blog in which I will write stories of my day like, "Today Steven told me that he liked my shirt. What does this mean? I think Steven likes me, but I'm not sure, he did just knock up Mary. Why is my life so hard? Gah!" It well be left to just complain in and write extremely random thoughts. But with that all said, complaints will soon be posted, but I must get my ass to class.
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