Alpha Sig Trigonometry

There you are, mindlessly walking to class and minding your own business, when you see them, standing there with a pile of little orange paper squares in their hand, attacking anyone and everyone who walks by. Whether you're on the Hill, central campus, at Todd, West end, or anywhere in between, there is someone handing out flyers, that I neither care about or read. Does anyone read them? I quickly grab it away from the person and shove it in my pocket, before I've even noticed what it was about it.
I don't need to know about Tri Sig's upcoming keggar/blood drive that they are throwing to raise money for starving kids in eastern Ethiopia or the free six inch sub I could get from Miami subs if I go there between the hours of 2pm and 5 pm and fill out some silly questionaire, that will "Only take a minute". I don't even like subs all that much.
My real complaint is not that I hate flyers, its the people that hand out their flyers that bother me. There is absolutely no way to get around them, unless you are in a large group of people, where then you can duck behind someones back pack and run past them, but otherwise you're stuck with a waste of paper. And if you make eye contact with the Handee, its all over-you're getting a flyer and there it goes in your pocket to forget about.
But what I hate the most, beyond the flyers and the people that hand them out, is the effects of the flyer. You go to wash your clothes and are carelessly throwing them in washing machine, only worried about how many clothes you can shove in there before they wont really be getting washed anymore. Then when you return, staring you in the face is thousands of little remnants of Tri Sig's invite to their drunken blood drive for Ethiopian kids. Not only did they waste my time, they ruined my clothes.


(I only give props to the man who handed me a wings over greenville flyer. It was outside of Flanagan one day. He handed me a yellow flyer and said, Come to the Student Buddhist Meeting this week. When I opened it, it was a menu for Wings Over Greenville, now I may be the only student of ECU who doesnt like WOG, but I had a lot more respect for it that day. I turned around and laughed with the kid and went to class.)