My other shirt has its collar popped

As I was sitting on a bench today, next to the fountain in central that doesn't work, waiting for class to start, I was surrounded by an entire tour group. I overheard the tour leader showing all of ECU's prospective students and parents the Graham building and explaining that it was the geology building. And infact it is, but what really struck me was when he said, "Geology is a big major here at ECU." (Well I can't remember the wording now, but he basically said that a lot of people are Geology majors.) Which I wanted to stand up and refute it to the group of naive kids, because the fact is, in a school of 20,000, if I remember correctly there are 30 something students majoring in it.

Anyway, that's not my complaint. However, before I was surrounded by the tour group a studious young man walked by me on his way to class. I looked up at him as he walked past and noticed his shirt. It read: I is a kooledge Stooodent. And naturally it was a black shirt with white writing, as all those shirts are. But what really made me wonder is what would make someone want to buy a shirt like that. Do you walk by the rack in, what im guessing to be Hot Topic (since they sell all those ridiculous attempts to be witty shirts), and read the shirt, laugh to yourself because the mis-spelling and poor grammar have really busted out the humor and realized you had have it? And about the quips they try to put on there...why does your shirt have to be witty? (Not that it is, it's rather annoying actually) Is your personality not enough to show that you're witty, so instead you make up for it and buy a mainstream t-shirt and suddenly you're a riot and oh so clever, without ever opening your mouth?
I really hate the shirts that say, "I have nothing to wear"
I can't believe someone would waste money on such a pointless shirt. So really, is this the shirt you only wear when everything else is dirty, but you so perfectly matched the tank top underneath with it, along with your belt and ugly oversized hippy earrings? Because it appears that you have things to wear.
In my fashion class last semester, we did our last topic on the history of the T-shirt. And it was very interesting actually. We talked about how in the 60's the t-shirt became a form of expression and people would use it to protest and state their beliefs, which I find all good and dandy. But I don't find shirts that say, "I beat your mom at Mario Cart", "You looked better on Myspace", "That's not what you were saying last night" (which can all be purchased at www.Hottopic.com) funny. My mom doesn't play Mario Cart, Why would you have a shirt about myspace, you're that cool aren't you? And its always the most unattractive guys who wear shirts that say "That's not what you were saying last night." etc. So not only have these silly screen tees made a debauchery of what T-shirts used to stand for, they also show me that you have no taste or time when it comes to clothes. You clearly have the money to buy these shirts, so thats not the problem. They're not clever, nor funny, they waste my time because naturally you have to read what's on someones shirt, and just make you look bad. The shirts never fit well, are always semi-faded in a bad way because the wearer wears them so much and after wearing them once the message just doesnt hold the same stupid value it used to.
So take off your stupid screen tees because i don't need to see a shirt that says, You were never my boyfriend on it, because damn right I wasn't. I'm not saying you have to dress well, I'm just trying to save you some of the little dignity you have left.

(the only screen tee's I have respect for are the ones that come from bustedtees.com and because those are actally clever and funny, but I would still never buy one.)

On another topic of tees, I also hate ones that have had the store logo thrown up on it. I don't care that you got your shirt from Hollister. Cool, but you don't need to advertise, I already know you paid way too much for a shitty quality shirt. The only one I could respect is the one Chris and I made up, ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH 1947 I FUCKED YOUR MOM. which yes...borders on the the complaint above, but it would also be making a mockery of the stupid shirts they sell at Abercrombie. And naturally you would have to pay fifty dollars for it and I wouldn't buy it.