Veneral Disease AY!

Happy Valentine’s Day, bitches!

This one is for all you girls out there:

Valentine’s Day: the day we are told to celebrate our love for each other by buying seasonally overpriced commercialized crap. It’s the day that singles are supposed to feel lonely and those in relationships get to parade their love around for all to see. But it’s also the day that also happens to be Thursday. It’s Thursday, so I’ll be going to yoga, eating dinner with all of the girls, watching Lost and getting appropriately drunk, since I don’t have Friday classes.

You see girls; it’s just a day. However, the murmurs that could be heard echoing through my classes, hallways and the Brick Yard that was littered with Valentine’s balloons, could tell you differently. I either heard your sob stories of being alone for another Valentine’s Day or how you were so excited about all this cutesy stuff you boyfriend was doing (which a football player informed me in class today is only done so they get laid and won’t get yelled at).

Apparently, today is a big deal. Did I miss it? The singles didn’t care yesterday that they were single. It’s not like some guy was going to jump out from the bushes and ask you to be his girlfriend, so was it really that big of a surprise that you wouldn’t be spending this day showered in perishable gifts? I also don’t remember requiring a guy to be happy with my life, but I guess that’s you. And to those in relationships—do you really need a specific day to celebrate the fact that you love each other? I don’t know, I find the whole thing really foolish. If only we all could decorate shoe boxes again and pass around Valentine’s cards covered in our favorite Disney Princess to everyone in our class—even to the snot nosed brat. Now that’s a day I would celebrate.

I don’t remember how much I cared about it last year, when I was taken. I know I spent a great deal of time planning our meal and a great deal of money buying it, but I don’t know how much I cared about the day itself. However, I didn’t mind the Godiva. Any excuse for chocolate is all right with me. In the past though, I’ve taken many last minute dates for the big day that led to nothing and ended as quickly as they began. And I felt no more loved than I did before the date. So why do we all feel so compelled to have someone to spend it with? If I were asked on a date this year, I would have turned them down. I couldn’t be happier to be single this time around and I can afford my own dinner.

So as you all scramble to find a date, buy your last minute presents that will be 75% off tomorrow, or sulk in your despair over lonely single life, I hope you realize it’s just a day; a day that I look forward to being able to continue my routine of yoga, Lost and my friends.

Mozal tov!