You're a few years overdue, I spent them waiting here for you

(This post isn’t a rant, but involves me making fun of myself a lot. If you were around for my “emo” days, you may really like it.)

This weekend I ended up at the Brewery to see some guy's band play. The guy that we had only met 2 hours prior at “Sausage Fest” asked Andrea and I to come and we only obliged after he agreed to guest listing us. In the end, they weren't too bad and are apparently playing at Barefoot this year.

In ninth and tenth grade, I spent all of my weekends at the Brewery, Duke Coffee House, Cats Cradle, Unity Church, and other small venues all in hopes of hanging out with a guy in the band I was currently trying to be a groupie for. I had the emo track jacket over the perfectly picked thrift store t-shirt, the ballet flats, the short pixie hair dyed that awful shade of red or very blond, and the attitude that I really cared about all of this music scene stuff (if my computer hadn't crashed junior year and lost all my pictures, I would post a fun picture of my lameness. However, I didn't shop at Hot Topic, so heaven forbid you confuse me with that crowd). My friends and I would roll up with our messenger bags, beaded bracelets and the best head nod we could muster while the bands played. It was all a really cute facade of some girl I thought I wanted to be and I thought the band boys would like. But thankfully, I never had any luck in that department.

Come junior year, I started hanging out with other people, dropped the wannabe emo look and quickly grabbed onto the ever-fleeting mod fad. God, I was cool. And as far as I can remember, I didn't return to any local band shows until recently.

So this was my first visit to the Brewery in over 5 years and this time it was much more empty and less smoky, but still as dirty as I remembered it. As I sat pretentiously drinking my tequila sunrise in my out-of-place cotton, belted dress, I couldn't help but remember how excited I used to get about it all. "OH EM GEE, we're gonna see (fill in the blank) tonight! Maybe we can hang out with them afterwards." We never did and instead I just looked like a twelve-year-old running around in four-inch heels trying to dodge the smoke and get some sweaty guy's attention.

While I explained the evidenced wonders of "the book" to Andrea and waited for the band to play, four girls dressed in silk bubble dresses, four-inch heels, giant clutches, and fancy up-do's waltzed in with a familiar air of excitement surrounding them. They all giggled as the boys in the bands walked by and when one of their friends returned with a beer she had bought with her fake. Oh EM Gee, guys! I couldn't stop laughing as I heard their loud squeals echoing across the room, because that was TOTES me six years ago, except they looked a lot cuter. They tried to dance along to the songs; all encircled each other while erupting in giggle fests and looked around to see if any of the band guys were noticing. It was vomit inducing adorable. And in the end, they were there to see the same guy who had invited us, but their agenda was much more obvious.

After the band’s set finished, we stuck around for another band to play and then I left knowing my local band show days were long gone. I had to get to the real rockin' out sesh anyway--Rock Band at Josh's.

Those years were fun though: stressed ear drums, smoky smelling clothes, ridiculous cover charges, getting picked up in mini-vans, and band pins all blanketed in the over-exaggerated lust for some guy who didn't know I existed.

And what have I learned since then: I don't date boys in bands (unless they are Steve Perry), beaded bracelets aren’t cute, my feet look funny in ballet flats (give me five-inch heels, please), short hair does not work on me, the Brewery makes shitty, over-priced drinks (who doesn’t have the right ingredients to make a cosmo?) don’t stalk or chase guys, but more importantly, don’t stalk or chase guys who don’t know you’re alive.

(On a complete side note: I lieu of reminiscing, I went and downloaded a lot of Thursday, Saves the Day, Juliana Theory, Jimmy Eat World, Death Cab, Ryan Adams, Get up Kids, One Amazin' Kid and The Smiths and it has been quite enjoyable. I forgot how much I used to like all of them. )